* Nama’stay on the couch.
* Vodka may not be the answer but it’s worth a shot.
* Friday, my second favorite F-word.
* There’s no “we” in fries.
* I need six months of vacation, twice a year.
* Your secret is safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.
* If I won the award for laziness, I’d send someone to go pick it up for me.
* Have you ever eaten a clock? It’s so time-consuming.
* Nothing really mattress except sleep.
* Mirror: You look good today. Camera: Nope!
* What’s a girl gotta do to get some fries around here?
* Hakuna ma-vodka.
* No laws when you’re drinking claws.
* Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
* How do people write autobiographies? I barely remember what I had for lunch.
* After Tuesday, even the calendar goes WTF.
* I’m smart. I just do stupid things.
* An apple a day keeps everyone away if you throw it hard enough.
* Life happens. Coffee helps.
* Where do all the hair ties go?
* Never let a man treat you anything less than Beyonce.
* You never know what you have until you clean your room.
* Life update: Currently holding it all together with a single bobbypin.
* When you’re feeling downie, eat a brownie.
* I’m here for a good time, not a long time.
* I am not weird. I’m limited edition.
* I may be a handful, but that’s why you’ve got two hands.
* I’m not lazy, just on energy-saving mode.
* There is no angry way to say, “Bubbles.”
* You, me, and the dogs.
* When there’s no coffee, I feel despresso.
* All we have is now.
* To be happy is all that really matters.
* Go wild for a while.
* Do what feels good.
* Living my best life.
* Life isn’t perfect, but my hair is.
* Height 5’2′ but my attitude 6’1.
* Be a stiletto in a room of flats.
* Too lit to quit.
* Be savage, not average.
* Do you know what would look good on you? Me.
* A sassy day keeps the basics away.
* Today, I’m 99% dry shampoo.
* Good food = good mood.
* No rain, no flower.
* Confidence level: Selfie with no filter.
* Half coffee, half human.
* Stay in your magic.
* If it scares you, it might be worth it to do it.
* The dream is free; the hustle is sold separately.
* Whatever it is, you can do it. Just try.
* Do more than simply exist.
* Exploring the world, BRB.
* Just act like you know what you’re doing.
* Be a voice, not an echo.
* Salty but sweet.
* Every day is an adventure.
* Always take the good with the bad.
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